Seems like just a short time ago I was juggling, work, play and planning a wedding reception. Now we’ve tucked five years under our belt and feel pretty good about things. What we find fantastic about it is that we’ve been together for 16 years. That’s a long time, I don’t care who’s counting.

I’ve found the secret to a good marriage is knowing when to listen and when to talk. That doesn’t mean I always do it but now that it’s in black and white, I guess he knows now, too.

The secret within the secret is picking your battles carefully. Is it really that big a deal he throws his washcloths on the floor instead of hanging them up? Well, yes, it is. However, it takes a lot less time to hang it up than tracking him down, showing him the error of his ways and going over the whole silly thing again. I’m pretty sure he heard me the first time and has made his choice.

I know there are things that I do that drive him absolutely crazy. For example: I generally have my stuff in a bucket at work but I’m a hot mess at home. Things aren’t as tidy as they could be and I know, I know, I left a water glass on the headboard in the bedroom — again.

Sorry.

The last five years have been filled with challenges, good times, sorrow and love. Seems like a pretty good mix to keep you connected and humble at the same time. The last 16 years have had a whole lot of those and more. A lot can happen in 16 years — good and bad. What doesn’t kill one of you — or both — makes you stronger and closer.
Here is some marriage advice from one of my faves, John Tesh:

— Follow the 5-to-1 rule. Studies show that the happiest couples do 5 positive things for every negative one. That’s because we have a negativity bias. Which means bad interactions weigh more heavily on our minds than good ones. So you need far more good things in your relationship, to counteract the occasional bad thing. So, for every eye roll, throw in 5 smiles, shoulder touches, or compliments.

— Family expert Stephanie Coontz says that husbands and wives should both work at least part-time. Why? In areas where 70 percent of married women work outside the home, the divorce rate dropped because sharing household chores boosts couple satisfaction. On the flip side, Coontz says couples following the old-fashioned marriage model, where the man works and the wife stays home, are less likely to feel satisfied and more likely to get divorced.
Rats. Guess that means no bon bons and soap operas for me. Oh, well. C’est la vie.

DEAR EDITOR:
The World Suicide Prevention Day is on Sept. 10 and the National Suicide Prevention Week is Sept. 9-15. 
Do you know what to do or where to get timely treatment and follow-up care for those at risk or actively suicidal? Locally 1-800-567-HOPE(4673) connects to crisis specialists. 
The Mental Health and Recovery Services Board of Allen, Auglaize and Hardin Counties support the three county coalitions specifically targeting ways to prevent further suicides. GRASSP survivor groups meet in Allen and Auglaize counties to meet the needs of those grieving a suicide loss. 
In Lima, the 2012 Summit on Suicide Awareness and Prevention is slated for Sept. 18 and the 6th Annual Remembrance Walk will happen Sept. 29. There is help right here for each of us whether a worried friend, interested citizen, grieving parent or someone at risk.
It is extremely difficult to survive a loved one in a world content to ignore the tragedy unfolding before its eyes. Cultural attitudes and taboo coupled with the lack of awareness that suicide is a top 10 health threat fuel the increasing numbers. This is everybody’s problem. It is killing the young and old, friends and coworkers, skilled and unskilled — only the very young appear exempt. 
Educate yourself and get involved in prevention so that someone you know and love might keep living.

GRASSP Support Group Facilitator
Valerie Coffey
Wapakoneta

DEAR EDITOR,
In regards to your article in Saturday’s paper about Delphos moving to a state wide radio system, I would like to add some insight, to the actual substance of the article itself and the statement by Mr. Berquist that the radios we received were free. The radios we received cost $280,000 and yes they have been setting on a shelf for at least a year because city council would not approve the $10,000 per year fee to put them to full function. Did the city of Delphos pay $280,000 for those radios? No but the tax payers did. Federally funded? The taxpayers also probably paid for those radios we may (or may not) communicate with in Cleveland and Indiana, more on this later.
I have no problem spending $280,000 on radios if we needed them, but we do not! We have a perfectly functional radio system for our police, fire and EMS. We can reach Lima and Van Wert consistently. If we need to communicate with Cleveland we have the phone system, which brings me to my second point. The system being forced upon us operates at a frequency of 800 megahertz. The reliable distance for radios at this frequency is about 5 miles. The technology for us to talk to Cleveland on this system relies 100% on the internet. I’m not even sure we would have consistent and reliable contact with Lima or Van Wert without it. If the phone system is down because of any catastrophic event, like the June 29 storm that hit Delphos, my guess is we will not have the internet either, which we did not. This would leave us to ourselves. I have not and will not support any part of this system.
Council has been led to believe that the $20 per month per radio to operate this system was going to drop to $5 per month, either way, right now our system only costs us the maintenance to operate the radios, and, we are in control. If we keep stretching our general fund, taxes will have to go up, but not with my vote.
Just as a side note. How do we get 16 trillion dollars in debt? Free radios!
Jim Knebel
Councilman 3rd Ward

Another year has passed and another candle was added to my cake. I don’t mind. I still enjoy birthdays and look forward to them. The alternative is just no good. Not reaching the next birthday, I mean.

I looked back on the year and have some regrets, some triumphs, good memories and a few things I wish never happened. It was the usual year. I made my share of mistakes and hopefully learned from each and every one.

My only goal is to grow as a person, as a human being, as a wife, as a mother, as a sister, as a daughter and as a friend. Some areas came out OK; others still need work. There’d be no point if we were already perfect when we got here. Where do you go from there? What would be the point?

I pretty much learn something new every day. It may not be earth-shattering or a mind-blowing revelation but I learn, nonetheless.
I know the capacity for human beings to be kind and cruel never ceases to amaze me. We read about it every day. I just keep hoping the kindness outweighs the other.

I know that if we don’t strive to be nice to each other and look out for each other somewhere down the line, it’s trouble for us all.
It’s easy to get caught up in the rush of everyday life and responsibilities and let time get away and not stop and do the little things we need to like call our parents or stop by a friend’s home just to chat. We get busy and loved ones hear from us less than either of us would like. We say there’s no time but we have more control over that than we either let ourselves believe or allow.

I do know that the years seem to go by pretty quickly and everyone who is older than I am says it only gets worse the more candles that are on that cake.

School has started and soon it will be Halloween. Then comes Thanksgiving, Christmas, the new year starts and so on and so forth. We all know how it goes, we just need to learn to slow it down.

Well, would you look at that. It’s the day after my birthday already. Only 364 days to go. I’m sure it will be here before I know it. I hope I listen to my own advice and find that balance between the hustle of everyday life and those moments we spend with others that get us through the rest.

I know I’m going to enjoy the weekend with my husband and friends and make some of those memories I was talking about.

DEAR EDITOR,
September is National Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.  A Gold Ribbon in September stands for kids with cancer.  An opportunity is available to you to raise awareness and support for these special kids.
On Sept. 16, an event called CureSearch Walk is being held in Columbus to raise funds for an organization called CureSearch.  This is a nonprofit organization that funds life saving research through more than 200 children’s cancer centers such as Nationwide Children’s in Columbus, Toledo Children’s Hospital and St. Jude’s Hospital.  CureSearch is a research organization that is strictly dedicated to research of children’s cancers. Ninety-six percent of all money raised goes directly to research.
I will be attending the CureSearch Walk in Columbus on 9/16 in memory of my granddaughter, Alivia. She passed May 23, 2011, at the age of 3 from cancer. I have formed a team called Beanie’s Bunch.  Please visit www.curesearchwalk.org to register to walk or to donate. The Walk is at Bicentennial Park, 233 Civic Center Drive, Columbus.  Registration is noon to 1 p.m.  The Event is from 1-4 p.m. 
Also on this website are the dates of other walks in the area.
One of Alivia’s frequent statements to me was “I will help you.” In her memory, “I will help you” by raising money and raising awareness for the need to find cures for children’s cancers.
Sincerely,
Betty Shobe
Delphos