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On the Other Hand
Five down and counting PDF Print
Saturday, September 08, 2012 12:31 AM

Seems like just a short time ago I was juggling, work, play and planning a wedding reception. Now we’ve tucked five years under our belt and feel pretty good about things. What we find fantastic about it is that we’ve been together for 16 years. That’s a long time, I don’t care who’s counting.

I’ve found the secret to a good marriage is knowing when to listen and when to talk. That doesn’t mean I always do it but now that it’s in black and white, I guess he knows now, too.

The secret within the secret is picking your battles carefully. Is it really that big a deal he throws his washcloths on the floor instead of hanging them up? Well, yes, it is. However, it takes a lot less time to hang it up than tracking him down, showing him the error of his ways and going over the whole silly thing again. I’m pretty sure he heard me the first time and has made his choice.

I know there are things that I do that drive him absolutely crazy. For example: I generally have my stuff in a bucket at work but I’m a hot mess at home. Things aren’t as tidy as they could be and I know, I know, I left a water glass on the headboard in the bedroom — again.

Sorry.

The last five years have been filled with challenges, good times, sorrow and love. Seems like a pretty good mix to keep you connected and humble at the same time. The last 16 years have had a whole lot of those and more. A lot can happen in 16 years — good and bad. What doesn’t kill one of you — or both — makes you stronger and closer.
Here is some marriage advice from one of my faves, John Tesh:

— Follow the 5-to-1 rule. Studies show that the happiest couples do 5 positive things for every negative one. That’s because we have a negativity bias. Which means bad interactions weigh more heavily on our minds than good ones. So you need far more good things in your relationship, to counteract the occasional bad thing. So, for every eye roll, throw in 5 smiles, shoulder touches, or compliments.

— Family expert Stephanie Coontz says that husbands and wives should both work at least part-time. Why? In areas where 70 percent of married women work outside the home, the divorce rate dropped because sharing household chores boosts couple satisfaction. On the flip side, Coontz says couples following the old-fashioned marriage model, where the man works and the wife stays home, are less likely to feel satisfied and more likely to get divorced.
Rats. Guess that means no bon bons and soap operas for me. Oh, well. C’est la vie.

Last Updated on Tuesday, November 06, 2012 4:24 PM
 
Another year, another… PDF Print
Saturday, September 01, 2012 12:53 AM

Another year has passed and another candle was added to my cake. I don’t mind. I still enjoy birthdays and look forward to them. The alternative is just no good. Not reaching the next birthday, I mean.

I looked back on the year and have some regrets, some triumphs, good memories and a few things I wish never happened. It was the usual year. I made my share of mistakes and hopefully learned from each and every one.

My only goal is to grow as a person, as a human being, as a wife, as a mother, as a sister, as a daughter and as a friend. Some areas came out OK; others still need work. There’d be no point if we were already perfect when we got here. Where do you go from there? What would be the point?

I pretty much learn something new every day. It may not be earth-shattering or a mind-blowing revelation but I learn, nonetheless.
I know the capacity for human beings to be kind and cruel never ceases to amaze me. We read about it every day. I just keep hoping the kindness outweighs the other.

I know that if we don’t strive to be nice to each other and look out for each other somewhere down the line, it’s trouble for us all.
It’s easy to get caught up in the rush of everyday life and responsibilities and let time get away and not stop and do the little things we need to like call our parents or stop by a friend’s home just to chat. We get busy and loved ones hear from us less than either of us would like. We say there’s no time but we have more control over that than we either let ourselves believe or allow.

I do know that the years seem to go by pretty quickly and everyone who is older than I am says it only gets worse the more candles that are on that cake.

School has started and soon it will be Halloween. Then comes Thanksgiving, Christmas, the new year starts and so on and so forth. We all know how it goes, we just need to learn to slow it down.

Well, would you look at that. It’s the day after my birthday already. Only 364 days to go. I’m sure it will be here before I know it. I hope I listen to my own advice and find that balance between the hustle of everyday life and those moments we spend with others that get us through the rest.

I know I’m going to enjoy the weekend with my husband and friends and make some of those memories I was talking about.

Last Updated on Tuesday, November 06, 2012 4:24 PM
 
My summer vacation ... PDF Print
Monday, August 27, 2012 11:31 AM

The nights are cooler and the sounds of a high school football game fill the air.
It must be the fall. Well, not really but for all intents and purposes, summer is over.

Last Updated on Wednesday, February 27, 2013 3:21 PM
 
Keep it in perspective PDF Print
Monday, August 20, 2012 8:42 AM

The power of social media never ceases to amaze me. It’s like the old shampoo commercial: and they told 2 friends, and they told 2 friends … Well, with Facebook, it’s more like this: and they told 500 friends, and they told 500 friends ….

Many of you have heard of the Baptist church in Kansas that sends its members out to protest at the funerals of those who have died for their freedom to do so. It’s kind of ironic if you think about it.

Last Updated on Tuesday, November 06, 2012 4:25 PM
 
Kick back and relax in Marbletown today PDF Print
Monday, August 13, 2012 9:37 AM

You know we’re in the last throes of summer when the Marbletown Festival rolls around. The weather is supposed to be perfect today. We have been very fortunate with the weather for this festival. It hasn’t been too hot and it hasn’t rained. (My fingers and the toes on one foot are crossed as I say that.)

Last Updated on Tuesday, November 06, 2012 4:26 PM
 
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