$4 million for this.
$6 million for that.
Lots and lots of money for a wedding.
Now we hear they are worried about all the money spent on security, especially when the royal couple had the nerve to drive themselves down the street in their own vehicles. I understand the concern; privacy is a huge issue with such big celebrities.
The answer to all this invasion into their privacy at such a personal time in their lives? We have put our heads together and decided the royal couple should honeymoon in Delphos.
Who would suspect the newlyweds would take time after such an elaborate party with millions of people knowing their every move to cross the “pond” and relax in a small, Midwest farming town? After all, we can keep a secret — can’t we?
I, of course, would offer my spare bedroom to them, if they would so be inclined, as a honeymoon suite. It’s not quite Buckingham palace, but I’m sure they won’t mind.
But if they would prefer to accommodate a bit more privacy, we do have a very nice hotel just on the edge of town. It’s in the country — almost like the English countryside they love and I am sure the management could keep a secret — can’t they?
Delphos is full of history and museums to enjoy and they could stroll along the canal and pretend it is the “Thames.” I heard Kate loves to boat and belonged to a rowing team. I know of several people in town who might offer them use of their canoe. I am sure they would keep it secret, too.
I know the royal couple enjoy sports and although we may not have much in the lines of soccer going on now, there isn’t anything much better than a good ol’ high school softball or baseball game, right? Sitting on the aluminum bleachers, soaking in the sun, the crack of the bat. What honeymooning couple wouldn’t enjoy that?
Transportation? We have a limo service in town or we could ask to borrow one of those wedding carriages if they really feel the need to parade down Main Street, passing through with a royal wave. I am sure the drivers would all keep it hush-hush.
I don’t know. It’s just a thought. It might be a little too late for Will and Kate but maybe we can start our pitch to Prince Harry.
Or maybe it isn’t too late. Keep an eye out this next week for a carriage rolling down Main Street or a row boat on the canal. You never can tell who might be sleeping in my spare bedroom.
And of course, I can keep a secret. Can’t you?