Letters from Larry

Published:  Monday, December 3, 2007 (2 years, 3 months ago)
Print

By Larry Baum

Alfredo sauce is the name of a creamy, buttery, garlicky and cheesy Italian gravy served over fettuccine and chicken.
I have tried it once or twice but was not rapturous over the sensory experience. Overall, I find tomato gravies and oil and garlic, done properly, to be superior. It was when I read a nutrition article some 15 years ago concerning the tremendous caloric punch this particular sauce packed that I said “Holy Big Mac” and took it off my list of items to order.
Memphis, Tennessee, was my home from 1992 into 1996 and I loved that lazy mid-Southern city. I want you to sit in the lobby of the Peabody Hotel in downtown Memphis and challenge you not to feel like Rhett Butler, or maybe Scarlett O’Hara.
At any rate, they have an insane tradition at the Peabody that’s as funny as a duck. Every day at 5 p.m., the Peabody ducks come off one of the majestic elevators and go single file to the indoor fountain to play and swim and eat for 15 minutes. People stand and position themselves strategically, if they can secure a spot, to watch this daily ritual. Those ducks are driven, and so are the people.
In May 1996, I moved to Champaign, Illinois, on a job promotion. By August, I had my first date with Laurie and by early ’97 I thought a trip to Memphis together to the Peabody was in order. The ducks would be an attraction plus an on site visit to Rebecca, daughter No. 2, and friends Alan and Bonnie.
Our trip was going very well, what with the impression of Memphis and the Mississippi from the Peabody roof and a very stately room for later relaxation. We selected a fine Italian restaurant to try near Beale Street and the water and walked the beautiful night to our destination.
I did not realize at the time, but ordering food in a restaurant with Laurie is a highly thoughtful and somewhat time-consuming process. I, on the other hand, tend to order quickly, like a sniper on evening patrol.
After an amount of time that I felt I could have watched a good portion of Jeopardy Laurie indicated two food choice possibilities. She was leaning towards the Fettuccine Alfredo. I admit this took the wind out of my sails and I said perhaps too strongly “No, don’t do that” and I proceeded to unburden myself of the scientific facts I was in possession of.
My comments were not received warmly to say the least. I tried to reel them in, but it was too late. Laurie ordered her second choice and did not enjoy it. At the end of the meal and on the way back to the Hotel De’Duck, I was forced to conclude and agree that I had seriously over-stepped my bounds.
We are not petty people and we did end up eventually getting married in ’99. Alfredo sauce, however, will always remain a sore subject. Friends, I say this with all sincerity and experience, let your date order whatever the heck they want.
Case closed, over and out.

0 Reader Responses to “Letters from Larry”

Complete the form below to leave a response of your own.